Gum drops and candy (Old Poem)

Happiness
I may not always feel it
I may not always look it
Sometimes, I don't know what it even is.

I look at the hurt
The pain
The heartache
The tears
And fears

It just make me sad
I wonder if anyone even hears

I care too much.
I identify with people
I hurt when they hurt
I let them know I'm there

For me to write a poem
For me to write about how happy I am
To say how everything is fine
How everything is dandy
How life is fill with gum drops and candy

It wouldnt be true
Id be lying through my teeth.
Because I see everything people go through

People go through hurt
People go through pain

But I hope for happiness for all
I hope for miracles
I hope for faith
I hope for love

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100 Theme Writing/Art Challenge- Day 1-Introduction

Hey everyone, 

my name is Lindsay and this is the introduction to me and my blog. I really don't care if you like what I write or if you appreciate my writings. Feel free to comment and say what you think. Yes, some of the stuff I post is depressing but this does not mean I am depressed. I write what I think should be said and what I feel should be heard. You may not feel comfortable reading my posts but I really don't care. I write for those who wont speak for themselves. If my writing is about abuse, that doesnt mean its what i'm going through. I have friends who were abused but refuse to say it. I write what I feel they would or should say if they would speak up. So yes, my writings are a bit depressing. 

I'm an ordinary person just going through life and facing its challenges. I love butterflies,I appreciate the beauty of art. I love Van gogh's art and story. I love to draw , listen to music and talk to friends. I love to help them through whatever they are going through. 

I like sad poems because they remind me that I could always be worse off. I could always have more problems, but I don't. Sad poems give me hope. So enjoy my poems and writings. comment and let me know what you think. Oh, and I am not the best writer. Grammar is not really my friend (as you will probably notice). Don't go looking for errors, but know they will be there. Enjoy and leave some love. 

I had a different blog but I made one on Blogspot because I liked the way things posted here, rather than the one I was using before. So there will be a bunch of poems and stories that look like they were written in one day but some of them are old. A lot of them are old. 

Blessings, 

Linds

Just Thoughts

When I was younger I used to read all the time.Mystery and romance novels were my favorite and fiction books fascinated me. Even though they were just fiction, I would always hope that maybe some of the fiction would be  reality.

I am rereading a series by Dee Henderson called "The O'Mally Series". Its about a  bunch of former orphans who decided they were going to be a family. The people are all grown up and each one has a story to tell. There are 7 children and  each one has a role. The oldest is called "The Guardian" because he is overly protective of his family. The other ones have different names like "The Protector", "The negotiator", "The Rescuer", etc. The point of the books aren't the names, but how they represent each character's personality. Yes, it is just fiction, but I wonder if there is any reality to it.

I've always wished I had  an older brother/brothers. Reading the "O'Mally" series made me think about it again. How cool would it be to have older brothers who were all those things? One who acts as the Guardian so you never get her. One who protects you, rescues you.

I  decided when I get married and have kids, I want at least 2 boys to be the first kids. And then a girl. So that way they can always protect their little sister from harm. Be someone that she can always lean on and trust. Someone who will scare away the boys, hurt the ones who hurt her, and defend her when she needs it.  Sometimes I envy those who have older brothers, but sometimes I don't. I love my little brothers and sisters,and I like looking our for them and protecting them. Sometimes I just wonder what it would be like to have an older brother. 

These Walls

These walls I build are not just to protect me
But to protect you too

To protect you from the things I say and everything I do

I put up walls and I know I shouldn't

But ..I don't know

There are reasons
There is an explanation

I can't get close to anyone
I've been hurt
I've felt out of control

Which is why I put up walls
To protect myself
From being hurt
From being let down
From being disappointed

Cuz in the end thats all people ever do
They let you down
And you doubt if what they said was ever true

My walls are put in place
They are there to protect you too

Protect you from me
From being hurt be the things I do

If i truly put my walls down then I would trust you completely
I would be free
But then you'd hurt me
And I would withdrawal
I probably wouldn't talk to you for a while

Then youd be hurt and our friendship would be strained
All because I trusted you
And you hurt me again

I know no one is perfect
But I wish that they were

So i'll put up my walls
To protect me from you
And then i'll see, if you care enough to try to break through

~A hurting Teen

Copyright March 2011

6/9/2011/ "Dear Nobody....I write because..."

I write this because I care
I write this because I hurt
I write this because I am a sinner
I write this because I am just like you

I lie
I hurt
I cry
I get depressed

I'm no different from you
Besides the fact I admit to it

I write things so you know your not alone
Everyone hurts
Everyone struggles
Everyone doubts

No one wants to admit it
No one wants to say so

I write to clear my head
I try to write to show truth
To encourage.

Yeah my stuff may be depressing
Yes my writings may be sad
But those are the ones that show hope
Those writing show that things aren't always that bad

So keep persevering
Keep pushing through

I write this not just for me
But for you too

You don't have to like em
You dont have to care
Just know if you need me,
I will always be there

6/9/2011 "I am.."

I am not perfect

I am not clean

I am not worthy

I am not worth your love

I am not worth anything

I am a sinner

I am a liar

I am a horrible person

I am unclean

I am filth

but

I am yours

You make me worthy

You make me clean

You give me worth

You cleanse me

You wipe away all the dirty things

You make me pure

You make me worthy

You make me holy

Without you I am just me

An unworthy sinner

Never amounting to what I should be

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

6/9/2011 ( I want to write something)

I want to write something that will change you. Something that will amaze you. something that will make you think about the deeper situations in life. something that will make you love and care. Something that will make you look around and know God is always there. Something that will make you more aware.

But I cant change you.

I can write great things, say deep thoughts. Speak the truth to you, but it wont change your heart. You have to change who you are. You have to let God amaze you.

I can tell you about poverty and innocent children dying, but its useless unless you truly care.

I can tell you how much I love you. I can tell you how much I care. But its useless unless you see it. I cant make you believe. You have to know its really there.

I can tell you how God will always be there. I can say He will take care of you. That everything will be alright. But I cant make you believe with my words.

I Can say that you need to look at the world around you. I can say you need to appreciate whats there, but its useless.

I can say all these things. I can repeat it multiple times. But my words are useless, almost like an invisible touch. You have to be the one who decides to be affected. You have to be the one who decides to care. Decides to believe. My words are useless until that time draws near.