Gum drops and candy (Old Poem)

Happiness
I may not always feel it
I may not always look it
Sometimes, I don't know what it even is.

I look at the hurt
The pain
The heartache
The tears
And fears

It just make me sad
I wonder if anyone even hears

I care too much.
I identify with people
I hurt when they hurt
I let them know I'm there

For me to write a poem
For me to write about how happy I am
To say how everything is fine
How everything is dandy
How life is fill with gum drops and candy

It wouldnt be true
Id be lying through my teeth.
Because I see everything people go through

People go through hurt
People go through pain

But I hope for happiness for all
I hope for miracles
I hope for faith
I hope for love

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100 Theme Writing/Art Challenge- Day 1-Introduction

Hey everyone, 

my name is Lindsay and this is the introduction to me and my blog. I really don't care if you like what I write or if you appreciate my writings. Feel free to comment and say what you think. Yes, some of the stuff I post is depressing but this does not mean I am depressed. I write what I think should be said and what I feel should be heard. You may not feel comfortable reading my posts but I really don't care. I write for those who wont speak for themselves. If my writing is about abuse, that doesnt mean its what i'm going through. I have friends who were abused but refuse to say it. I write what I feel they would or should say if they would speak up. So yes, my writings are a bit depressing. 

I'm an ordinary person just going through life and facing its challenges. I love butterflies,I appreciate the beauty of art. I love Van gogh's art and story. I love to draw , listen to music and talk to friends. I love to help them through whatever they are going through. 

I like sad poems because they remind me that I could always be worse off. I could always have more problems, but I don't. Sad poems give me hope. So enjoy my poems and writings. comment and let me know what you think. Oh, and I am not the best writer. Grammar is not really my friend (as you will probably notice). Don't go looking for errors, but know they will be there. Enjoy and leave some love. 

I had a different blog but I made one on Blogspot because I liked the way things posted here, rather than the one I was using before. So there will be a bunch of poems and stories that look like they were written in one day but some of them are old. A lot of them are old. 

Blessings, 

Linds

Just Thoughts

When I was younger I used to read all the time.Mystery and romance novels were my favorite and fiction books fascinated me. Even though they were just fiction, I would always hope that maybe some of the fiction would be  reality.

I am rereading a series by Dee Henderson called "The O'Mally Series". Its about a  bunch of former orphans who decided they were going to be a family. The people are all grown up and each one has a story to tell. There are 7 children and  each one has a role. The oldest is called "The Guardian" because he is overly protective of his family. The other ones have different names like "The Protector", "The negotiator", "The Rescuer", etc. The point of the books aren't the names, but how they represent each character's personality. Yes, it is just fiction, but I wonder if there is any reality to it.

I've always wished I had  an older brother/brothers. Reading the "O'Mally" series made me think about it again. How cool would it be to have older brothers who were all those things? One who acts as the Guardian so you never get her. One who protects you, rescues you.

I  decided when I get married and have kids, I want at least 2 boys to be the first kids. And then a girl. So that way they can always protect their little sister from harm. Be someone that she can always lean on and trust. Someone who will scare away the boys, hurt the ones who hurt her, and defend her when she needs it.  Sometimes I envy those who have older brothers, but sometimes I don't. I love my little brothers and sisters,and I like looking our for them and protecting them. Sometimes I just wonder what it would be like to have an older brother. 

These Walls

These walls I build are not just to protect me
But to protect you too

To protect you from the things I say and everything I do

I put up walls and I know I shouldn't

But ..I don't know

There are reasons
There is an explanation

I can't get close to anyone
I've been hurt
I've felt out of control

Which is why I put up walls
To protect myself
From being hurt
From being let down
From being disappointed

Cuz in the end thats all people ever do
They let you down
And you doubt if what they said was ever true

My walls are put in place
They are there to protect you too

Protect you from me
From being hurt be the things I do

If i truly put my walls down then I would trust you completely
I would be free
But then you'd hurt me
And I would withdrawal
I probably wouldn't talk to you for a while

Then youd be hurt and our friendship would be strained
All because I trusted you
And you hurt me again

I know no one is perfect
But I wish that they were

So i'll put up my walls
To protect me from you
And then i'll see, if you care enough to try to break through

~A hurting Teen

Copyright March 2011

6/9/2011/ "Dear Nobody....I write because..."

I write this because I care
I write this because I hurt
I write this because I am a sinner
I write this because I am just like you

I lie
I hurt
I cry
I get depressed

I'm no different from you
Besides the fact I admit to it

I write things so you know your not alone
Everyone hurts
Everyone struggles
Everyone doubts

No one wants to admit it
No one wants to say so

I write to clear my head
I try to write to show truth
To encourage.

Yeah my stuff may be depressing
Yes my writings may be sad
But those are the ones that show hope
Those writing show that things aren't always that bad

So keep persevering
Keep pushing through

I write this not just for me
But for you too

You don't have to like em
You dont have to care
Just know if you need me,
I will always be there

6/9/2011 "I am.."

I am not perfect

I am not clean

I am not worthy

I am not worth your love

I am not worth anything

I am a sinner

I am a liar

I am a horrible person

I am unclean

I am filth

but

I am yours

You make me worthy

You make me clean

You give me worth

You cleanse me

You wipe away all the dirty things

You make me pure

You make me worthy

You make me holy

Without you I am just me

An unworthy sinner

Never amounting to what I should be

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

6/9/2011 ( I want to write something)

I want to write something that will change you. Something that will amaze you. something that will make you think about the deeper situations in life. something that will make you love and care. Something that will make you look around and know God is always there. Something that will make you more aware.

But I cant change you.

I can write great things, say deep thoughts. Speak the truth to you, but it wont change your heart. You have to change who you are. You have to let God amaze you.

I can tell you about poverty and innocent children dying, but its useless unless you truly care.

I can tell you how much I love you. I can tell you how much I care. But its useless unless you see it. I cant make you believe. You have to know its really there.

I can tell you how God will always be there. I can say He will take care of you. That everything will be alright. But I cant make you believe with my words.

I Can say that you need to look at the world around you. I can say you need to appreciate whats there, but its useless.

I can say all these things. I can repeat it multiple times. But my words are useless, almost like an invisible touch. You have to be the one who decides to be affected. You have to be the one who decides to care. Decides to believe. My words are useless until that time draws near.

Hope

no matter what I do
no matter what I say
no matter what I feel
you hurt me
every
single
day.
I trust you, then learn
I love you then realize
that you werent worthy
that you were filled with lies
but
thats the key word
the word that makes everything different
you wont break me
you wont tear me apart
i know one who loves me
who will always love me
one who loves my heart
so I dont dispair
I dont sulk in pain
I know my true love is out there
and I will find him someday
So i'll keep holding on
Ill keep hoping today
I'll keep believing
Keep trusting
that ill find my prince someday
I know there will be pain
I know there will be trials

But i will never give up hope
I will never give up faith
Because i'll always believe
things will be better than yesterday
~A hurting teen

Dedicated to a friend

T-Swift

I was listening to Taylor Swift and I heard some lyrics that I think is especially true for me. Lyrics of my life ;)

"Did I say something way too honest
That made you run and hide like a scared little boy?
I looked into your eyes, thought I knew you for a minute
Now I'm not so sure"

The rest of the song doesn't apply to me, but those lyrics do. It seems like I'm always too honest with someone...I let my walls come down right when I think I know them....and they they just run and hide. It makes me unsure that I ever knew them at all.....

What do you think? Is it better to be completely honest with a friend? Or should you hide things? to protect them?

Faith

(Dedicated to a friend)

Faith?
What is it?
Why is it important?

Without it youll give up on life
Without it youll live your life in depression
In strife

There's a song that say's
Nobody said it was easy
But nobody said it would be this hard

Thats how I feel
Why do people struggle
Why are people in pain?
I sometimes lack faith when it comes to this area

I talked to a friend last night
I wish I could make the pain go away
I wish I could make everything okay

He shouldn't have to work all week
To pay the bills for his family
He shouldnt have to be the butt of jokes
He shouldnt have to worry about it all

Nobody said it was easy
But I didnt think it would be this hard
Thats why you need faith
Faith will get you through
I hate to see friends hurt
I hate to see them sad

Often when I hear about whats happening to them and..
I want to cry for them
I get mad.
Why them?

My friend has some of the most remarkable faith i've seen
No matter what
No matter how hard
He always believes

He works hard
He pays bills
But I don't hear him complain
Each new day is just another problem thats slain

Hes always just has faith
its amazing really
I think of him and smile
No matter how hard
No matter how tough
He gets through it
He doesn't complain because its rough

He justs trusts
He has faith

The bible says "Faith is the substance of things hoped for
And the evidence of things not seen"
He has that kind of faith
And I admire him for it

I love him too
Because no matter how much he struggles

He always gets through
That is faith

Having hope
Trusting
Believing

through the good and bad
though times are sad
Just trusting in God to help you
Trusting in God to put you through

Dear Friend

You turn your back on those you know
Just to go and live your life in woe

You think one way but you act another
Torn, confused, and hurting all over

You say you care and you try to act the same
But in reality your hurting beneath the pain

You want to change but you don't know how
So try to ignore everyone and you talk to no one now

You think it will help you become who you want to be
But in reality your hurting your relationship to others and to me

But when you finally know who you are
I'll be waiting to talk to you, I won't be far

But in all honesty, let me say
That I think your stupid for doing things this way

I want to help but I don't know what to do
Because when I ask anything, you push me away from you

Invisible

An old poem I found my old blog

Trying to hide
Pretending to be okay.
Talking to others like your okay.

But in the inside
Its all decay

Wanting to scream.
Wanting to shout.
Wanting to escape it all
If only for a moment.

Crying at night
But not too loud.
Afraid that someone will notice it all.

Torn into pieces
Almost wants someone to say something.
Someone to notice
Someone to care that your falling apart

But no...you
Keep pretending
Keep acting
Life your okay
But in reality, thats not the fact

Butterflies and Humans

I've always wanted to be a butterfly
I've always wanted to be free
I've always wanted to be something that was something
Anything
Anything that wasn't me

To me, butterflies are free
They are beautiful
They are something that I want to be

They have no cares
they have no worries
They roam where they want
They fly where they want

I want to be free
I want to be beautiful
I don't want to be me

Sometimes I pretend
Sometimes I close my eyes and act
Act like I'm a butterfly....
I act like nothing can take me from that

But soon I open my eyes
And Im faced with the fact
That im just human
Unfortunately, that is that.

Me?

I try to write happy poems
But very often I see
That the things I write, dont seem to be me

No an alien didnt take over my body
But I feel when I write it, i'm just like anybody

My poems are unique because they are me
They are what I am feeling
Or what I believe

They aren't anything special
They aren't anything great

If my poem is sad it doesn't mean thats what I feel
My poems reflect what I see around me
The brokenness of friend, people that need to heal

My poems may not seem to have a happy ending
But you have to realize, everyone has rough beginnings
My poems are the beginning of a story
Someday they will be complete, you need not worry
If you read my work, don't give them a second thought
Dont become distraught

I think sad poems are the best
They show what people are going through
This should make us not feel like the rest
We should be glad for what we had
Not the things that make us feel bad.

So I will leave this poem like this
And finish it when the story is over...or whenever I wish

Who am I ?

Who am I ?
Who do I want to be?
I'm hurt and confused
I don't know how I should be.

Am I right?
Am I wrong?
My heart feels weird
Like there is no song

I'm dazed
I'm confused
I don't know whats suppose to come out
I really don't know what this is about?

Am I weak?
Am I strong?
Or am I nothing...like the devil claims all along?
I know who I am

I know what I'm suppose to be

I know God made me strong
I know he told me what is right
I know he shows me how not to be so uptight

I am child of God
I am his alone
I am protected
I am guided
I am freed
I am loved

I know who I am
I know who I should be
But the problem is...
Why can't I just believe

3/30/2011

So its just about the end of the month. Crazy how fast it has gone by. This month has been really stressful due to the amount of school I had to do, along with debate, speech, and college stuff. Because of all this, I have be severely lacking in my bible studies. But I am getting back to it. I opened my bible today on a random chapter and today its on Psalms 22.Read it here

I have a Teen Study bible and right next to the chapter was a big question sent in by a kid. The question was,

"Why does God allow people to suffer so much from hurricanes and tsunamis?"

I think everyone has that question, but we add on to it. We don't just ask why he allows natural disasters, we ask why he allows disasters in our lives as well. A lot of people think that since this happens, God doesnt care. We all say, (Even Christians)
"My God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me?So far from the words of my groaning?"(Psalms 22:1)
But its not true. Heres what I think of the matter.

1.God Does care- Psalms 22:24 says
"For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him. but has listened to his cry for help"

Honestly, I don't know you. I don't know what your going through. But I do know one thing, God has not forgotten you. A lot of the times its the other way around, we have forgotten God. We have forgotten his promises to us. "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future"~ Jeremiah 29:11
We just have to remember that.

2.God has a plan
No matter what we go through, God has a purpose. We need to understand that it will turn out for the best somehow. We get so caught up in what we are going through now, we don't see the big picture.


When I was little, my little brother Noah would get in trouble. My mom would punish him and talk to him and he would cry saying he didn't want to do his work. My mom always told him "Noah someday this may be a testimony". Noah still cried. He was about 6 at the time. My mom told him "Noah, you can't have a testimony without a test". My little brother replies "Well i just want the mony".
Coming from a 6 year old, it was thought of as cute. But its true for all of us. We want to have a testimony, but we want to skip the test. The trails and tribulations.The hard times. We can't. Through every disaster there is hope. Through every pain there is healing. God always has a plan. I think thats why there are disasters, they mold us and shape us to who God wants us to be.

Romans 8:28 says,

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

In the end, everything will work out. We just have to continue trusting and hoping.

~A hurting teen

Leave some love

Today

I woke up fairly early today
Its not sunny or rainy
Its just kinda...
Perfect

The weather is beautiful
The sky is clear
Everything is great
Everything is here

Have you ever just took the time to look at the earth
Do you see the complexity?
Do you see the worth?

I like the about the world
Everything has a place
Everything has a meaning

In sunday school we used to sing a song
Jesus, you sure know how to color
Jesus you musta been an artist. Color my world with love
Its so true. So many colors in the world
So many things going on
Yet in the end it all works out
In the end, nothing is torn

If we all could just down a moment and take it all in
Reflect on things that are
Things that have been

We need to realize that life moves too fast
And if we get caught up in it all
It really seems not to last

So today i'll slow down
Tell friends I love them
Pray to God
Have him help me
Let me put nothing above him

Too many time we get stressed with it all
And quite frankly,
I think thats our true downfall

So be encourage for today is a new day
and all of our sins have been washed away
Be happy
Be joyful
Be loving
Be caring

Because today is a new day
And it may be your last to say everything you want to say

3/29/2011

Its one one of those days....
Where you have so much on your mind
But you just don't know what to say

My day hasn't been bad
It hasn't been good
It really just hasnt worked out the way I wanted
The way it should

I have math thats due
A Psychology paper too
On top of that I feel weak
its just so much to go through

I'm done with the cheesy rhyming
So I 'll get down to the point
I'm procrastinating
So I dont have to do work

Yesterday I couldn't eat
I couldnt sleep
I'm tired
I lost 3 pounds in one day

Not sure if thats good or bad
Cuz I want to lose weight
But thats really not the way...starving yourself is not good..just fyi
You just end up feeling weak.

I dont know why but I cant eat a lot....
I think im just used to eating a little and so my body rejects anything thats big? I dont know...
I know its wrong not to eat
So I force myself to eat at least one meal one meal.

I didnt have breakfast...there was nothing good....I havent eaten lunch...I'm waiting for my food to cook.
It looks quite good
I made cornmeal crust goat cheese pizza. Super healthy.
But now thats its done...I kinda dont want to eat it.
Weird huh?

Mmmmmm I think its time to retire my thoughts.
Time to focus on school
Block out all these other things in life that distracts me

Oh on a random note, I talked to a friend a couple days ago.
I have decided that I love this kid.
Probably the only guy friend that will end our conversations with "Love ya Linds"
Its not like that though. Hes like a brother. '

He always understands me. I think its cuz we always seem to be going through the same thing.
sometimes its like he reads my mind. Crazy huh

I've got a lot of good friends. All of them are different though. This particular one always seems to be able to get me...

I have others that claim to be friends. others that claim to care. And others that are just always there. I'm still sorting through them all

Still trying to figure them all out....
There are those who say they care and at time they are so sweet that I want to cry...but then they kinda disappear for a while.
But one thing is for certain, true friends will be there for you...without a doubt

You Hurt Me

You hurt me
Not with the Things you say
But the things you do
You never seem to know
You never seem to understand the shit you put me through

Maybe its all in my mind
Maybe its just stupid
Maybe I'll heal with time
In the end, you probably don't know that im going through it

Its all quite petty
I will admit that
Its all quite silly
I know that for a fact

You hurt me
By the things you do
You hurt me
By the things you dont know I know about you

But the truth is I'm afraid
If I tell you whats bothering me
Would you care?
Or just abandon me?

Would you laugh that it was dumb?
Say that its no big deal
But your such an idiot
You really don't know how I feel

It hurts when you don't keep your promises
It hurts cuz i was dumb enough to think you would
Its not like I like like you
I don't think I ever would

I think of you as a friend
One of my best friends in fact
But its times like this
Times when I find out things behind my back

You hurt me
I know its true
But I don't know why the hell
It means nothing to you

3/22/2011

Sometimes I wonder whats wrong with me
Sometimes I wonder if this is how I ought to be
Sometimes I wonder if this is truly me
Sometimes I wonder is this all I'll ever be

Why am I always in pain
Why am I always hurt
Why am I always scared
Why am I always ignored

Am I supposed to be hurt since life isn't perfect?
Am I supposed to be sad since pain is going to come?
Am I supposed to pretend like im okay even when im not?
Am I supposed to act, put up a front, and say im okay?

Am I really the one who is always ignored?
Am I really the one who is never preferred?
Am I really the one who always hides her tears?
Am I really the one who pretends to never have fears?

Will I ever be the special person to someone?
Will I ever be cared for and not ignored?
Will I ever have a friend who will always be there?
Will I ever be able to share the things that are there?

~A hurting teen

Idiots- I mean guys

Guys are Pickles
Its just plain and simple
Not sure how
Not sure why
But they are just pickles....
Unless I call them something else

Why is it so hard from them to show they care?
Why is it so hard for them to show it?
Why can't they act like they care?
Even though you know they don't

So listen up guys,
Heres a lesson from me
A lesson from a girl
Telling you how you should be

Compliment a girl
Compliment her as a friend
Act like you care
If shes avoiding you, its cuz you hurt her
You should apologize
Not run and hide

Text her first
Cuz otherwise she won't text you
and if you both keep that up
You're relationship will be through

I'm sick of rhyming
So i'll just stop
Thats another thing

Stop pretending
Stop acting
Stop lying
Stop ditching

Stop pretending you don't care if you really do
Stop acting like your tough and you dont care what she does
Stop lying about things
Stop ditching her for new things

Just stop it all...
I'm sick of it
I'm tired of that...

Honestly, I'm tired of guys
Its almost like their more drama than girls

If you have a girl who happens to be a friend
Then show her you care
Just let her know you are there

So Close Yet So Far

Why?
Why do we feel close?
Yet we feel so Far?



In our every day lives
In you spiritual lives
We feel close
Yet so far
And it makes it so hard

We talk to friends
We tell them our secrets
Our pains
Our stories

During this time its great
Its awesome
Its nice
WE feel close

But at the same time
Creeping in the back of our mind
We feel something different
Something we cant quite place
Something we cant quite find

We feel far
Like they don’t know us
Like eternity is between us
Like a distant star

We shine bright
We are admired
We look closer than we are
But snap back to reality
We realize that we are far
That no one knows us

God is kinda like that
At moments we feel so close
Yet we feel hes far away
But God is different
Hes special

He wont leave
He wont stray
Hes always there
Everyday

We don’t need to see him to know that hes close
We just need to feel him
Its almost like a ghost

We may not be able to look at him
Or Touch
But we can feel him
All around us

Friends will go
Friends will fail
It starts to hurt
It feels like theres no avail

But that’s not true
That’s just a lie
God is always there
Always there by our side

~A Hurting Teen

You Don't Understand

You just don't understand
No matter how much you say you do

You think your always right
You never admit your wrong
You think you get me
Youd never admit your wrong

You know
Youll never read this
So youll never know
How I truly feel
But I dont think you really care

You say you care
Cuz im a good friend
But sometimes it just kills me
How blind youve been

You dont see my pain
You dont see my hurt
Maybe you do see my pain
Maybe you do see my hurt
All I know is if you do
You dont care about both

You know when we argued about that stupid thing
I cried
It hurt
It was dumb
But there was still pain

I kinda looked up to you
You are like a brother
You're one of my closest friends
But what you did hurt
More than it would hurt from my other friends

You lied
Something I didnt expect
Especially from you

I know everyone gets hurt
I know everyone has pain
I just never thought youd ever be responsible for mine

Honestly...when I read some of your texts
I wanted to hate you
I wanted to scream
But instead I cried
And didnt feel anything

It was a weird reaction
I know that for sure
But its just how I felt

You wont ever read this
You wont ever see
Beacuse you never take the time to dig deep
And actually find out whats happening to me

My Mind

This isnt a story
This isnt going to rhyme

Its just thoughts that im thinking
Things that are coming from my mind.

Its nothing special
Its just how a feel
Its not really for you
Its for me, so I can try to deal

Deal with my pain
Deal with the hurt
Figure out whats wrong
Figure out what hurts

I don't know whats wrong
I dont know what to say.
I want to express myself
But I cant.

Its funny cuz I can get people
I can almost see right through them
But when it comes to me I cant get myself

Actually thats a lie
I know whats wrong
But ive put it inside so much
That I am scared to let it out
I've convinced myself to forget
Convinced myself not to see
All the crap thats going on inside me.
Ive convinced myself not to feel it
I've convinced myself not to see it.

If I can fool myself
I can fool others
Right?

I want to fool others
But I dont want to

I want people to see me
But I want to be invisible

I cant make up my mind
I dont know what to do

So whats on my mind will stay there
Until I figure out how to express it to you.

~A Hurting Teen

Butterflies

All my life i've loved butterflies
Its silly really but its true
I have had this weird obsession with them.

When I was little I would collect butterfly puzzles
I would catch them and watch them
I even got a butterfly for my birthday once

Something about them facinated me

How they always looked carefree
How they were so beautiful
Yet so vulnerable

Since I was little I decided I wanted to be a butterfly
Its always been my wish
I want to be able to fly wherever and be free
Free from worry and distress
I want to look as beautiful as they do

When I look at them i'm at a loss for words
I just think "Wow, God is an amazing painter"

I look at them and I just want to be one.
But I realize we are all butterflies in our own way
God has made each and everyone of us
Just like a butterfly
God watches over us
Just like he does with butterflies
God gives us the ability to be free from worry
Just like butterflies

The only thing standing in our paths is us
Its the decision that we have to make

We have to decide to let go and let God have it all.

Then we will be free
Beautiful
and taken care of

Heroes Around Us

As a child, we are told heroes are always around us. Protecting and guiding us. As a child we think of batman and superman as our heroes, but when we grow up we realize our true heroes are those who do take action in a extraordinary challenge. Heroes are ordinary people who believe in something extraordinary. Heroes are formed when people are faced with a difficult circumstance and forced into action. In each one of these circumstances the person has a change to become a hero or to do nothing. When we look at the past and present we can see there are plenty of examples of people becoming heroes everyday.
From the early 1600's to the late 1800's, our world sat as thousands of people were brutally beaten, marred, raped, and sometimes even killed. People who most did not consider to be a human being. People who were considered slaves. Slavery last for hundreds of years and it seemed like it would never end. By the 1900's slavery had been abolished for quite some time, yet hatred and discrimination fueled the hearts of many. African Americans were told that, "All men were created equal and they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights", yet as they experienced the racial discrimination they were not so convinced. Until one man, one here, emerged. His name was Martin Luther King Jr. This man was surrounded by racial prejudice and discrimination yet he never let that kill his dream. He was faced with a horrible problem and instead of ignoring it, he became a hero and he faced it dead on. He said, "I have a dream that one day this national will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed. We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal. And they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights". It was through those circumstances that he found out who he was. He was a hero. Instead of ignoring racial discrimination and oppression, he faced it. You may think that heroes like that no longer exist.
You couldn't be further from the truth.
The sad fact is even though slavery has been abolished for centuries, 25 million children, including in america, are in some form of sexual slavery. Just like with slaves in the 1600's they are being beaten, killed and raped every single day. Now that you are faced with this circumstance, what will you do? Will you be a hero and fight back? Or will you coward back and do nothing? There are people now who are fighting back. There are heroes who still exist. My friend Marissa, at 15, is giving a speech on human trafficking and will be giving it to various audiences.There are Organizations that go in and rescue those who are bound by the chains of human trafficking.
From past to present, heroes are all around us. Protecting, rescuing and guiding those in need. All we need to do, is look for them. Anyone can be a hero. Even you. A hero is determined by what a person does when they are faced with a horrible circumstance. Will they look past it? Or rise up and become a hero like Dr.King, Marissa Fausset, and so many others?

Happiness

So I hear my poems are depressing...so i'll try something new

I will try to start this one off happy
Happy for all the things i've been through
I say i'm happy but really im sad
When I think of those things I go mad

But I know its not right to feel that way
So instead I think of happy thoughts
To try to make it go away

Happy I have friends and I am blessed to know them
Friends like Victoria, Brent, Hannah, Amos and Jo
Katie, Allison, Kelley, Caroline and more
When I think of people like them I can't help but smile
Friends like them make all this s... worthwhile

I can be happy I have a family
Happy that we arent worse off
Happy that we kinda live in harmony

I don't know what else to do
I do know what else to say
So i'll leave with this

I have incredible friends
I have an incredible family
And that alone should make me happy anyday

- A hurting teen

comments welcomed

Who I Am

Who I am? Who will I be? My name is not important. You really don’t need to know who I am. I am a child. i am a sister, a daughter, I have a cousin and I have brothers. And like most kids…I a hurting teen.

We all have things that we go through. We all have pain. I don’t think we should keep that pain bottled up inside. it will only eat at your heart and destroy you. That is why I have this blog. It get out everything I am thinking

Now you may think im depressed based on the title of my blog…that is not the case. I can be happy, I can smile, and I enjoy laughter. But deep inside me, like everyone else, is someone crying to be heard. Someone hurting for some reason. No one really wants to share those reasons to people. They feel like they are bothering them. The same is the case with me. If my friends read this, I dont mind. But I just ask everything you read you keep to yourself.

These reasons for these pains aren’t usually that deep but they hurt all the same.

- A hurting teen

Tears & Fears

Sometimes I wish that people would see
All the things that hurt inside me
All the Tears
And all the Fears
I wish they would see and care
But I know if anyone asks, I would deny they are there

I say I wish people would see
But I know I don't mean it
If somone asks I know I would act like I dont notice it

Id say im okay
To convince myself I really am
But inside im going nuts
And no one gives a damn

Yes I just cussed
I slightly regret it
Call me a devil
But it was refreshing

To get everything out
say random crap just to spout
Writing gets it all out
Writing releases me of it all

Now back to the fears and the tears

Its suddenly new
I really don't know what to do
They say poems should rhyme and so I try
But everytime I try it I fail each time

I have these fears
Fears of rejection
Fears of being afraid
Fears of people dying

Every since my uncles death
Ive felt really stressed
Each phone call gets my nerves in a mess
I think that with each call comes more distress
I think Each call will say someone else has died
So im scared all the time
I have nightmares
I have daymare
as crazy as that sounds

Its driving me nuts
I just want to cry
I really feel like about to burst
I just want to cry it out
To get it all out

But I can't
I need to be strong
Or so I tell myself

But is that really true?
No one knows
Not me
Not you

So until I know the answer I guess I'll just have to deal
With all my tears
And All my fears

Fairy Tales

Many little girls dream of fairy tales
They dream of being a princess
They dream of meeting a prince
They dream of "true loves kiss"
They dream of living happily ever after

But then they grow up
Their told fairy tales don't exist
They meet people who tear them down
and they think
"I'm not a princess...and I won't meet a prince"
They give up the dream of living happily ever after

But at night
In their beds
They cry
They want to go back
They want to rewind
They want to go back to that time

Where they believed they were princesses
They believed they'll meet a prince
They believed they would live happily ever after

Letting go? (old)

I need to let go
I need to let go all of the fear
All of the pain
All of of the stress
All of the worry

I need to let go
I want to let go
But I can't let go

I keep holding on
Despite knowing it's wrong
I can't let go
Cuz then I won't have control

I need some control
But my life is going crazy
I want control
Just a little daily
But I never am in control
That much I have learned
So I'm letting go

I'm letting go
all of the fear
All of the pain
All of the stress
All of the worry

I'm letting to go to the father who knows no fear
The father who knows no pain
Or worry
Or stress

I couldn't let go
But I'm trying to let go
And I will let go
To my heavenly father

Ashamed

Dedicated to those who feel like they will never amount to anything. But they need to know thats not the truth.



Ashamed
Ashamed of who I am

Depressed by the me that will never be

Never pure
Never clean
Never true

I want to be made clean
I want to be made pure
I want to be one that tells the truth

But instead I am Ashamed of who I am
Disgusted with what I see
I look in the mirror
“Is this really me?”
“Is this really who I’ll always be?”

This is not want I want
This is not what I should see
Please Jesus
Make me over
To what you want me to be

Everyone's Friend (Old. I wrote this when I was 13)

Everyone's Friend
Yeah, thats me.
Nothing more
And Never will be

I am the one people talk to
When they are hurt and don't know who to trust
I'm the the people lean on
Because they say it is a must

I love to help
I would never turn anyone down
But right now, whenever I realize im just Everyones friend
It almost makes me frown

I want something more
Something better
Something other then being just a friend

But I don't want to take a chance
I'm afraid of what might happen
I'm afraid i'll have to start all over again

I'm afraid of my feelings
I am afraid of trying to trust
So for now, I will just stay "Everyones Friend".
It may not be what I want, but it's a must.

Reality & Dreams

when I was young, I wanted to be famous
When I was young, I wanted to be pretty
When I was young, I wanted to be a princess
When I was young, I wanted to meet a prince
When I was young, I believed in "Happily ever after"

Then I grew up, and realized I would never be famous
Then I grew up, and realized I'm not that pretty
Then I grew up, and realized I didn't have what it takes to be a princess
Then I grew up , and realized that "happily Ever after" didn't exist.

But in my dreams, I still believe people will know who I am
But in my dreams, I like to believe I am pretty
But in my dreams, I dream I am a princess
But in my dreams, I still think I will meet my prince charming
But in my dreams, I can believe I will live happily ever after

Then I wake up, and find out everything is not true.
I am not pretty
I am no one's "princess"
No one will be my "prince"
I will never live happily ever after.

Life is not a dream
You can dream about happy things
You can dream about being free
But the truth is..
Someday you will have to face reality

Happily Ever After

I write things
Im not sure if they are poems
I know they come from me
They dont always rhyme
There often isn't a logical reason
I write them no matter how I feel
No matter what season

Here's what I think
Here's what I think I know
People write poems about where they want to go
I think all poems are inherently sad
All based on something bad

If its a poem about love
Its because the author experienced pain

If its about hope
Its because the author has none and wishes she did

If its about redemption
Its root cause is because the author wants to be redeemed.

There are no "Happily Ever After's"
Just like there are not any happy poems

People write for a reason
That reason is because of sadness
Because of sorrow
Not of hope

I find this sad because I think there should be happy poems

But in a way I am glad there are sad poems.

Sad poems make us realize how thankful we should be
They make us realize that around us there are people hurting worse off then we are
Sad poems may hurt
But it also gives you hope.


Hope that things will get better
Hope that you wont feel that same pain
Hope for a better day

Hope for a better tomorrow

The Name

Theres a name that I know
A precious name
You hear it and the away the fears flow
When you heed it, you will never be the same
How I love that precious name.

When I'm sad, and have no place to go
I cry myself to sleep, but safe in his arms I know
I may feel alone
I may feel sad
But I realize all those feelings are from the devil and are just to make me sad
The more I think about it
The more I pray
Because I know he loves me
And I love him more each day

I am not perfect
I am not clean
I am a sinner
Dirty
Tainted
But on him I lean

He saves me
He loves me
He knows me
He cares for me

I know there is power in his name
When I think of it
I know I will never be the same

I say these things and I try to mean them
I think I mean them
I know their true

Why is it so hard?
Why is it so hard to believe the truth